I have a fear.
I have an obsession with this fear.
I have an unhealthy obsession with this fear.
I have a seriously unhealthy obsession with this fear.
I refused to get over my seriously unhealthy obsession with this fear.
Ok... so can you guess that there is something seriously bother me about this fear?
I have a fear of choking and it's not just a fear but as I mentioned above... it's HUGE.
I can't swallow pills.
I refuse to learn how to swallow pills.
I will cry if you try to make me swallow a pill.
That's how major this obsession is. I crush, I eat, I chew, I open them. I use OJ, sprite, (not coke), & gelato to hide the taste.
My crippling fear has taken over and I refuse to move on. It has started to affect Valentina too. At 6 months, the doctor said she could start having small pasta. (the teeny tiny ones like stars) I was so happy that i went out a bought a box. I made them for her and she didn't like it. Every time we tried, she just pushed them out with her tongue. It took about a month for her to even eat a spoon of it. Then I figured that maybe she needed to get used to the taste. So, I bought a box of smaller pasta (for 4 months). That made a huge difference and she was finally accepting it.
One day, I was feeding her and she got some pasta caught in her throat. She gagged on it but immediately coughed it up. I gave her some water and she was fine. I grabbed her bowl started to feed her when she started crying. I guess she got scared because she refused to eat anymore. When Carlo got home that night, I told him about it. At dinner time, he tried to feed V and the same thing happened. One look at the bowl and she started crying. I had to smash her food through a mesh strainer for her to eat it.
At this point, she should be on finger foods but my fear is stopping me. I know exactly what to do incase she does choke but the fact is... I can't do it. I know I will panic. I make Carlo feed her anytime she requires chewing anything. In fact, when we went to the pizzeria, I was scared that she would choke. My friend Jill was trying to reassure me that everything was ok but there was still that WHAT IF feeling.
Then I wonder if she's just not ready. We've given her a few things like prosciutto, bread and potatoes and she's fine but only if we feed her. She hasn't gotten the idea of feeding herself yet. She should be able to chew somethings but I just can't bring myself to give her bigger pieces of food.
I NEED HELP!